you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
