I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
