drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
