Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
