today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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