I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
