girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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