I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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