# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
