what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
