Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize