So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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