her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
