you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
