we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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