Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
