i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he fucked my hip out of place.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
