Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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