ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I could fuck to npr.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
