dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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