I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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