No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
