I hate your face
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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