a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
