Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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