she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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