You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
