Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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