I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You took a bar mat shot.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
