Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
