marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
