party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
