One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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