Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
