2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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