He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
