I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
...so i touched it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
