i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
