I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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