oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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