i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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