I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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