there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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