Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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