It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
