So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
