dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize