how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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