Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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