Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
