____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My pussy is not your playground.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
