these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
