I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
