i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
