wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
