DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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