its not stalking. its research.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
