Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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