Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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