wat bout pragnant strippers??
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
